WBTB Role …Volunteer Coordinator – Eastern Region

State … New Jersey

Family… Husband PJ, and three furbabies: Stella (1 yr Shepherd Mix), Hannah (5 mo old German Shepherd) and Puddy (4 year old Maine Coon cat)

Interests or hobbies … Drawing, painting, crafting, crocheting, scrapbooking, reading, football (GO GMEN!), dog training, shopping, decorating my house, working out, and WBTB!

Talents … Arts/crafts, academics

Occupation … Human Resources Analyst at Verizon Wireless Corporate

My dream vacation would be … Italy

My favorite vacation spot is … DISNEY WORLD!!!

My super power is … Organization

Something you can do better than your spouse/significant other … Home improvements

My greatest achievement has been … Graduating from Fairleigh Dickinson University with my BA & MA in 5 years!

My guilty pleasure is … The television shows I like to watch – Pretty Little Liars, Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, etc.

My favorite food is … Pasta, cupcakes and candy

My favorite movie is … The Little Mermaid

The 3 things I would want if I was stranded on a desert island are … iPhone, eyeliner, and PJ

My celebrity crush is … Zac Efron

Thank you, Jillian, for letting us get to know you!

Please go to wivesbehindthebadge.org and thepolicewifelife.com to see how you can help.

Kristen Wallitner has been in love and married to her LEO husband for 16 years and they have 2 children, ages 8 and 5.  They do a lot of hiking and outdoor things as a family.  Kristen is also very interested in running, gardening, writing, and cooking, studying her Bible, and spending time with family.

Click the link below to donate today and help us reach our goal, or send us a check.  Your donations go directly to our general fund and will support all of our programs that are dedicated to directly helping law enforcement families.  Every donation counts and can make a big difference for our fund.  So please, donate today!  And as always, thank you for your continued support!

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Name … Amanda Pekarek

WBTB Role …Vice President & Northern California Auxiliary Director

State … California

Family… Husband Brandon, daughters Kennedie (11 yrs old) and Frankie (10 yrs old), and son Brandon (4 yrs old)

Interests or hobbies … Football, outdoor activities with the family, charity work, and just recently have really begun to enjoy baking/cooking as a stress reliever

Talents … Make up artist

Occupation … Business owner, make up artist

My dream vacation would be …Australia or Africa

My super power is … Extremely good at defusing hostile or stressful situations

Something you can do better than your spouse/significant other … Sports games on Wii

My greatest achievement has been … My children and designing my own cosmetic line

Something that no one knows about me is … I am deathly afraid of spiders but love snakes

My favorite food is … Sushi

The 3 things I would want if I was stranded on a desert island are … Sushi, iPhone, Malibu rum

My secret crush is … Ryan Hurst

Thank you, Amanda!!!

Amanda & Brandon Pekarek

That week I had found a diamond ring in the glove box of his truck and had a little nervous breakdown. My dear husband isn’t great at hiding things, and along with the ring I found the receipt dated for six months before…..well most of you ladies know where my head went…..why in the world had he had the damn diamond for so long and not asked me to marry him? So one cold winter night the pilot went out on the water heater, when my then boyfriend came home in the morning after working night shift I had a little mental breakdown, supposedly over the water heater breaking but I finally came clean that I had found the ring. I asked him why he hadn’t given it to me, along with the question, “Do you think I signed up for this? To basically live here alone, I don’t know why I even want a husband that won’t be home when I need him.” As the words left my mouth I regretted them, as I said them I knew I didn’t mean it.

We fought it out for hours, I called in sick to work and skipped class and we figured it out; but the last statement he made in the early morning hours before we went to bed will stick with me forever, “Baby, I love you more than anything in the world, I would do anything for you, but I can’t promise this will ever be easy.” Six more months passed before that frustrating man gave me that diamond ring; he refused to solidify that part of our lives until he had the career he had been striving for since before he had learned to walk. When he graduated from the law enforcement academy he finally gave me that ring. It was the simplest proposal in the world. He’s a man of few words, but of much meaning. He simply said “I love you, will you marry me?” No fancy words, but our relationship is that simple for him, I have always been the one to over think and complicate everything. He loves me, I love him, it’s meant to be forever and it will be. I remember looking down at that diamond ring winking in the light and thinking, this won’t be easy. But since when is the easiest thing the thing that is most worth your energy? So I said yes…..and the rest is history.

But nights like tonight make me remember that statement. It really isn’t easy, but not even remotely for the reasons I thought back then. Back then I thought it would be because of the pilot light outages, the dishwasher flooding, the leaky pipes etc. But that stuff is the easy stuff. That stuff I can handle any day.

The hard part is the dark. The dark when my diamond ring winks at me, seeming to mock me, as I stare at it praying that my husband will come home. The hard part is the dark part of my mind, where my writer’s imagination takes over and imagines the worst possible scenarios. The hard part is watching the ever abundant videos of officers being shot that I can’t stop myself from pressing play on. The hard part is every officer down notification. The hard part is the guilt I feel when my heart skips a beat because I am just so damn happy it’s not him, and then the guilt of knowing someone like you is out there with her world falling apart.

The hard part is the silence. The hard part is sleeping with the television on so my mind doesn’t wander into the dark. The hard part is the silence of the house that is so damn empty without his voice; the silence of the phone when that text goes unreturned for hours. The silence is much louder in my head than any noise I’ve ever heard. But after all of those thoughts invade my head, I look down at the diamond ring on my finger and I remember what the easy part is. The easy part is loving him. The easy part is the breath that comes when I hear the boots in the hallway and the Velcro tear. The easy part is turning to him when he crawls into bed and falling sound asleep. The easy part is listening to his heart beat under my ear for those few precious minutes we get to spend together, and thanking God for every moment.

We don’t have those irrational fights anymore, I am never insecure of our relationship or where we stand. I know exactly where we stand. He stands on the thin blue line, fighting for all of us, and I stand right next to him with my head held high, and my hand in his.

If ‘the knock’ came to my door
But I already knew
From a post on my newsfeed
What would I do?

How could I muster
The strength I would need
To unlock the deadbolt
With such certainty?

                                             Suddenly stricken
                                             From a life that I love
                                             In a swift final moment
                                             Somehow sent from above

                                             My family of sisters
                                             Stunned by their fears
                                             In earnest prayer they’d begin
                                             As I fell to tears

                                            To ‘know’ before knowing
                                            That my world fell apart
                                            When I need my girls most
                                             I know they’ll have a start

                                            They’ll keep watch and wait
                                            For me, should that be
                                            With total radio silence
                                           ‘Til the truth is set free

                                             I believe in my sisters
                                             The ones bound by blue
                                             If his watch ends too soon
                                             They’ll pull me through

                                             We hold on to this bond
                                             Through all that may be
                                             So I know who to turn to
                                             If the knock’s meant for me

OK, back to the task at hand.  Please stop for a moment and take a little journey back in time with me.  Close your eyes.  Err, you can’t read this if you close your eyes.  Nevermind on the eye closing part.  Just pretend you did, OK?  Now, think back over the Wives Behind the Badge you knew at the beginning of last year.  Then, think about the Wives Behind the Badge you see before you today.  Do you see the similarities?  How about the differences?  Yes, we have the same vision, the same mission, the same goals, the same support.  But, look at all that you (everyone who volunteers for/supports/donates to WBTB) have done in the last 12 months to grow and expand the vision and mission and goals and support.  It is truly remarkable what the kind and giving hearts of so many people can accomplish.  Here’s a breakdown of the growth and advances from 2011 to 2012:

• We have a new, beautiful, functional website – graciously donated by SoLi Design Studios in Arizona.
• We have an ever-growing staff of amazing volunteer employees.  These officers, wives, parents, etc. all give so much of their time and talent to help WBTB and the people WBTB serves.
• We have a huge volunteer workforce out there plugging away on our projects, programs, services, and outreach.
• We have almost 8,000 fans on Facebook, over 1,200 followers on Twitter, more than 1,000 subscribers to our newsletter, and almost 300 members on our WBTB and FBTB online forums.
• We have found amazing partnerships with The Police Wife Life and Code3 International Ministries.
• We raised almost $4,000 for our scholarship program and gave $2,000 in scholarship awards.
• We successfully launched the new Families Behind the Badge and Blue Line Kids programs, and have seen steady growth in both.
• We started Auxiliary Committees in 9 states outside our home state of California and they are all already hard at work bringing our programs to the local level.  We have 15 more states with Auxiliary Committees in the works now and more states with applications in.
• We sold over 550 ornaments.  Oh, and we handmade over 550 ornaments, too!
• Because of your support, we have been able to make donations to help first responders in time of personal tragedy and natural disasters.
• We have brought attention and awareness to the challenges law enforcement officers and their families overcome on a daily basis.  We have helped to inform people of the daunting statistics we are all faced with.  And, we have helped start new campaigns to improve the community environment we all live in.
• And, we are on the verge of launching several new programs and services – including a new K9 assistance program and several new national counseling/emotional support services.

So, thank you!  Thank you for donating. Thank you for volunteering.  Thank you for spreading the word about Wives Behind the Badge, Inc.  Thank you for supporting the officers in your lives!!!  And thank you for supporting your greater law enforcement family!!!  Time and time again we have asked you to be difference and it is abundantly clear you are doing just that!

To you, he might just be an officer working 5-6 days a week but to me he is my husband.  Public perception I feel dehumanizes our officers.  They feel that they are just “robots” of the government, making life tough on everyone.  They feel that they are just that uniform.  Never mind that there is a beating heart under that badge.  Some people do look at an officer as a hero, a person who put their life on the line for them and a person who made sure that they are safe.  But we need to put everything aside and realize that they are people with families and hearts that can be broken.  I appreciate those that appreciate my husband but it grieves me greatly when there are those that threaten him or treat him as if he is not a feeling human being.

Tonight, I am waiting for that garage door to open.  I am waiting for that uniform to come off and for the sweats to come on.  I am waiting to turn off the computer and spend time with the one I chose to spend the rest of my life with no matter the cost.  My favorite thing to see is my husband on the floor with my two kids wrestling and tickling and laughing.  That is the real person, the real man under the badge.

He turns on his heel and accepts his award with humility and calmness.  Yes, it is an uneasy time for him because he isn’t used to this sort of attention.  It means a lot to him and his family that they are here supporting him and recognizing something that he did.  His life could so easily have ended that October Saturday but with guidance and watching over by God, he is here to accept that star.  Like everything else he has received, he will put it away only to come out during special events.  This isn’t the reason he did what he did.  He did it because he is a real person with real feelings and a supernatural calling for justice.  A professional through and through, yet a man with flaws and a heart.

Kristen Wallitner has been in love and married to her LEO husband for 16 years and they have 2 children, ages 8 and 5.  They do a lot of hiking and outdoor things as a family.  Kristen is also very interested in running, gardening, writing, and cooking, studying her Bible, and spending time with family.

Where you see dirty dishes in the sink, I remember that last night I got to have dinner alone with my husband, a rarity, and we got too caught up in conversation to be concerned about the dishes getting done.  I see the night we decided to say screw being grownups, and cooking and decided to get pizza, Pepsi and Reeses and eat them in bed.

Where you see two weeks of laundry piled on the laundry room floor I see that my husband has been on day shift, giving us the “normal couple” time together.  We can pretend to be a normal 9-5 couple for a whole 3 weeks, and I refuse to spend that time in a separate room from him folding laundry just so my house looks nicer.  So when I see that two weeks of laundry I see two weeks full of long conversations with my husband, nights spent curled on the couch by the fire, and laughing at silly old movies.

Where you see a floor that probably should be mopped I see that instead of mopping I spent an hour responding to the email of a fellow law enforcement wife who was having trouble dealing with her husband being gone all night.  I see that I did the right thing and helped someone else get through the night just a little easier.

Where you see carpet that has dog hair on it and may need vacuumed I see the night I spent writing several chapters in my book, responding to more emails from other wives, writing a blog to help them realize they are not alone and then, exhausted with a headache pounding behind my eyes decided it was time to sink into a bubble bath with a glass of wine; because I had to get up at 5 a.m. and start the cycle of work, home, clean, counsel, write, over again.  And I love it, but sometimes you just have to let go.

When you see my beautiful guest bedroom covered in leather duty belts, snap keepers, bullet proof vests, uniforms, and guns you see a mess.  I see the tools that keep my husband alive.

So there is my confession.  My house, much like my life, is a beautiful disaster, and I love every square inch of it.

West Virginia WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name, their committee number (#6), and something to do with their state.  All entries must be submitted to westvirginia [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by February 15, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the West Virginia Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).

New Jersey WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name, their committee number (#5), and something to do with their state.  All entries must be submitted to newjersey [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by February 15, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the New Jersey Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).

Tennessee WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name and their committee number (#4).  They’ve also requested the logo make use of possibly their state outline, a police badge, and something to do with music (to pay homage to the history of their cities). All entries must be submitted to tennessee [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by February 29, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the Tennessee Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).

Indiana WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name, their committee number (#9), and something to do with their state.  All entries must be submitted to indiana [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by February 15, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the Indiana Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).

Missouri WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name, their committee number (#11), and something to do with their state.  All entries must be submitted to missouri [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by March 1, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the Missouri Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).

Nevada WBTB Auxiliary

The logo must include their name, their committee number (#12), and something to do with their state (the state outline would be great).  All entries must be submitted to nevada [dot] auxiliary [at] wivesbehindthebadge [dot] org by March 1, 2012.  In your email, please state that you are giving Wives Behind the Badge, Inc. permission to use your design for the Nevada Auxiliary Committee and all related marketing materials used to promote the committee (this may include use of the design on our website, online forums, Facebook page, newsletter, and products).